Tuesday, October 8, 2013

10 Ways to Beat the Holiday Blues

Holiday depression is painfully real for many people. Others suffer from SAP (Seasonal Affective Disorder). One of my clients described it best:

"From Thanksgiving to New Years I feel as if I've dropped into a black hole. I see all these people with cheery smiles and ruddy faces and it actually makes me sick. I have to try to fake a smile and force a cheery comment, but that only makes me feel more isolated. I guess the season reminds me of my childhood Christmases, which were always horrible. My parents were always drunk and seemed to always stage their worst fight of the year on Christmas. And as the youngest in the family, I was made to feel that if I had any complaints, I was being a baby. So I learned to internalize my feelings, especially during the holidays."

Like my client, a great number of people suffer from depression during the holidays, often because of depressing memories, and they seem resigned to it. But there are things you can do to not only diminish your funk but even make the holidays an enjoyable experience.

One: Talk to somebody. Talk to a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a dog. Talk to somebody who can hear you without judging you. Better yet, talk to somebody who shares the same funk. When you talk to somebody, you relieve the depression and you form a bond with another person.

Two: Do something completely different. Plan a trip to an exotic place-Tibet, Morocco, a tropical forest in South America. Join a tour where you can meet other people. Or, if you can't afford that, do something different where you live. Look for local activities that interest you-a candlelight service or sing-along at a church; a walking tour; an online chat festival. Do something that distracts you from your negative thinking and inspires you.

Three: Volunteer. In order to stop feeling down on yourself, use the time to help people who are less fortunate than you. Volunteer for a soup kitchen, a toy drive or a hospital. There is nothing that can raise your spirits more than giving of yourself, and you might just meet other people who are similarly inclined.

Four: Take a friend to Christmas events. If you're someone who dreads being single or alone at holiday events, take a friend to the office party, to Thanksgiving dinner, or to Christmas and New Year's celebrations. You'll feel better knowing you have someone at your side, someone to talk to when nobody else is paying attention to you, and someone to commiserate with afterwards.

Five: Set your boundaries. Know your limits and stick to them. Only attend the events you want to attend, and stay only as long as you want to. Don't hesitate to drop by for a minute or two and then announce that you have a crowded holiday schedule. People will understand that it's a busy time of year and will respect you for setting your boundaries. And knowing your stay is temporary will ease the stress of being places you don't necessarily want to be.

Six. Try laugh therapy. Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine. It is known to be a release of anger, and physiologically it sends endorphins into your body, giving you a sense of well-being. Get hold of your favorite funny movies and spend the holidays watching them. Even better, invite a like-minded friend to watch them with you.

Seven. Work on your novel. Use the holiday period to do something creative or useful. If you have an unfinished novel on our computer files, get it out and start revising it. Or do other creative projects such as redecorating your apartment, learning a new piece on your keyboard, or writing a diary. Or clean out your basement and organize your closet. You'll feel better if you do.

Eight. Get some exercise. Exercise, like laughter, releases endorphins and raises your spirits. Do something you've never done before, such as ice skating or skiing. Go to a gym, take a walk in an interesting section of town, wander through a park. You may not feel like it, but do it anyway. You'll be glad you did.

Nine. Take Risks. You may have a strong desire to stay home and avoid potential pitfalls; but this only exacerbates your depression. Try to step out of your comfort zone and take some risks. Make it a point to do one thing a week that arouses anxiety. You may reach out for an old friend, go to a party, or talk to a stranger at a museum. Even if you don't get a positive response, you'll feel better about yourself for having braved a rejection.

Ten. Make resolutions. As New Year's Day approaches, make some constructive resolutions. Promise yourself to drink less, to finish projects, to begin doing yoga or therapy. This will get you out of the funk and give you hope. There's nothing more curative than hope.

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